A sexless marriage is usually a troubled marital union where little or none of the sex exchanged occurs between both spouses. The US National Health and Social Life Survey, in 1992 revealed that 2.2% of the married couples reported having no sex in the previous year. This alarming figure has many leading researchers to formulate the theory that male and female sperm have very distinct characteristics and are also slow to swim together. It has also been discovered that men may be less inclined to initiate sex than women and that this may account for the low number of married couples with sexless marriages. One thing for sure is that if a male partner is suffering from impotence or low sex drive, his inclination to initiate sex will be considerably low.
There is no doubt that a sexless marriage is quite a traumatic experience for the man and his partner. So many people believe that they are destined to live with a sexless marriage until they die. However, it should be borne in mind that most healthy and happy couples experience sex and desire sex at some point in their lives. Some couples even wait for their partner’s sex drive to build up again before they resume having sex.
There are many reasons why men and women in a sexless marriage tend to wait for their partners to rekindle their interest in sex again. One such reason is that this may be seen as being ‘easy’ for the other partner and he may feel that he is being ‘easy’ too by having sex with someone who is not very interested in him and only has an interest in himself. This can result in one partner feeling neglected and unwanted, leading to rejection of that particular partner by the other partner. Sex is very natural and necessary in a relationship and one partner’s desire to have sex with another partner should be encouraged, not rejected.
Another reason why a sexless marriage occurs is that in such a marriage, the couple does not spend enough time with each other. In a healthy marriage, both partners should be able to spend equal time together and also make time for love making. In a sexless marriage, this is usually not the case. The husband spends most of his time at the office where he has little time to spend time with his wife. This results in a reduced intimacy between the husband and wife, which may lead to a sexless marriage. An intimate marriage means that sex is performed between both the partners and it is the closeness that is rewarding.
If you want your sexless marriage to survive and work, you need to start restoring the intimacy between both you and your spouse. Start with a real commitment to each other and go on from there. You can start by cuddling and kissing each other good night, just the two of you. Try out some romantic gestures like holding hands or having a kiss. If these physical acts do not work, then try to create some emotional intimacy by going for hugs and kisses. Cuddling and kissing is an excellent way to restore the intimacy in a relationship that has gone stale due to sexless marriage.
A sexless marriage might not be as easy to save as some people might make it seem. If you have had no sex for quite some time, there will be nothing for your partner to feel sexually attracted too. It is the lack of intimacy that causes this problem. It is possible to get your partner to fall in love with you again though, provided you rediscover the passion in your relationship. Do not lose hope if you are in such situation because it can be saved.